Happy Wednesday everyone! Can’t believe we’re already halfway through this week – but hey, I am NOT complaining! Today I am sharing with y’all something that is a little more personal than what I typically post. I’ve been wanting to do this post for a long time, because people are constantly asking me how Drew and I have made it work together for so long. I also get asked pretty frequently do we fight (yes, we do disagree sometimes)/don’t you get tired of him (no, I’ll never get tired of him)(this was asked more when we were dating & not married)/etc. So, today I am sharing with y’all the things that we do (and don’t do) that make our relationship work.
Our love story
We started dating my freshman year of high school and his sophomore year. Just from the beginning of our relationship, it just always felt right. I was constantly bugged and questioned on why I would stay with the same person all throughout high school. People trying to tell me that I didn’t know what I wanted because I had really only dated one guy. But for me, that is why I loved him so much! There was never a REASON to look elsewhere because every quality I had ever dreamed of in the man I would eventually marry – Drew had all of them and more. I have always been so happy and so loved by him, and have never had a reason to not be with him (hopefully he feels the same way 😉 jk I know he does!).
We actually went to different high schools, and Drew went off to Georgia Tech a year before I did. That was probably the most challenging time in our relationship just because it was full of so much change. However, we worked through it and only became stronger because we trusted in one another. Fast forward to college, our love and support of one another grew even more and the summer before my 4th year in college we got engaged! It was a “surprise” but not because in high school we both knew in our hearts that we would get married one day. We both graduated college May 2, 2015 and got married 2 weeks after on May 15. That’s the short version of our story, so I feel very confident sharing my advice. This December Drew and I will celebrate 9 years of dating. 🙂 So. Crazy!
12 Keys to a healthy, successful, and loving relationship
Be encouraging & supportive of each other in everything they do – be their biggest fan.
In college I was constantly supporting Drew in his classes. Engineering classes are no joke and I was always routing him on during both good and bad days. Now, in this season of life post-college, I support him in his career and his goals. Drew is so supportive of my career, and so supportive of my blog. He is my cheerleader and biggest fan, and I am the same for him. Earlier this year he hated his job, and I pushed him to look elsewhere! I wanted to see him happy and successful and really supported him in finding a new job (which he got & now LOVES!).
Show interest in their interests
Sometimes it’s hard listening Drew ramble on about Star Wars, how much he weight he lifted today (he could tell me something very unimpressive and I would still be like, wow, that’s awesome! haha), or the newest shooter video game, but I always listen and say how cool that is. I’m sure he gets bored to death listening me go on and on about my new hair product or curling iron or newlipstick, but he always is engaged and attentive. If he notices I am wearing new top or lipstick, he always compliments me on it. 🙂
Know what your boyfriend/spouse needs –
For me, I just love knowing Drew is in my presence. Just knowing he is here in the house makes me happy. I love doing everything with him, and he is the same way with me. Drew really likes being complimented and praised. I always make sure to say thank you, compliment him when he is all spiffed up when he comes home from work, and so on. He feels loved and appreciated when I tell him how I feel about him. Knowing what makes your spouse tick is super important in making sure they’re constantly feeling loved by you. A good way to do this if you’re unsure is take the love language test together! Drew is totally words of affirmation and quality time, and I am definitely quality time and tied between acts of service and physical touch.
Do small things with great love
The little things really do mean the most. Remember to say I love you! Obviously showing love is important, but sometimes I even forget to say it! When Drew gets me flowers “just because,” when I leave him little notes in his lunch bag that he takes to work, he will randomly pick me up lunch and surprise me, I’ll leave a note on his pillow when I am traveling, he kisses me goodbye and says I love you every morning when he leaves for work, just small things! Reminding your person how much you love them, even in the smallest ways, truly means a lot.
Laugh together – have fun together!
Drew and I are constantly laughing at one another and with each other. We always have fun with whatever we’re doing.We’re both young at heart and I love that. I know because of this (and many other reasons) we will make great parents one day!
Mutual Respect & Shared ownership.
We lift each other up every day. There are enough things out in the world in our daily life to bring us down, the last thing you need is your spouse bringing you down too. We treat each other as equals, and always go to each other before making plans or making big decisions. We respect each other and each other’s feelings. With that respect, whether it’s our finances, our house, whatever, having the mindset of ours/we/us, instead of yours or mine, is so important.
Say what you want! Be honest and open
The moment something is bothering you, speak up and say “this is bothering me!” When I am craving Mexican food, I tell Drew. If I’m not paying attention to Drew, he will ask why I am not listening. When Drew is irritating me, I let him know why he is bugging me. You get it. If something is on your mind, make it known and go from there. There is no way to get over something, fix it, etc. if you keep it inside and don’t say what you’re feeling.
Find a hobby that you love doing together.
Drew and I love working out together. We have been doing different workout regimes for the past few months, but that is something that we enjoy together and relate on. We also love playing video games together, walking our dogs, window shopping, watching “our” TV shows (that we wouldn’t dare watch without one another haha), and so many other things. Even though we’re separate people we love doing everything together.
Don’t hold grudges and leave the past in the past.
I don’t feel like this needs too much explanation. 🙂
Trust in one another.
Mutual trust is KEY to having a successful relationship. If you’re constantly questioning what the person is doing or where they are, that is not healthy. Drew has never given me a reason to distrust him, and same with me. I know this may be different for others, but trust has never been an issue for us. They key to this goes back to open communication, if something is bothering you, just talk about it with your spouse!
Consulting only with one another
When there is something going on, good bad whatever, we consult in each other, not with ANYONE else. Not our parents, not our siblings, best friends, whomever. Solving your problems privately is so important – it’s just between you two. Bringing someone else into an argument or a situation will only make the situation worse. At the end of the day, it’s your relationship that you have between you and your spouse, and no one else is a part of your relationship or marriage.
Don’t be overly critical and nagging and be mindful of each other’s feelings
Do I do everything perfectly? Heck no. Does Drew? No. We are both normal humans that mess up and that’s great. Drew and I really try our best not too be overly critical or nagging of one another. We respect each other’s feelings. For example, Drew would never tell a mean joke about me in front of someone else, and I would never do the same. We love to joke with each other, but we always make sure to never embarrass or throw hateful jokes around at one another, especially in the company of others.
Thanks so much for reading! I hope this post provided encouragement or inspiration to someone out there. 🙂 Comment below if you have anything else to personally add or any advice to share on having a successful relationship. Hope y’all have an amazing rest of the week!